investor relations.
the company is profitable in spirit and complete in headcount.
key figures
revenue
€0, recurring
burn rate
one sandwich per day
runway
indefinite
valuation
one telis
share performance
€0.00 since inceptionjune 1: speculation
fig. 1: the share price. the company has no shares. the line is provided for comfort.
cap table
- telis
- 100%
- everyone else
- 0%
fully diluted. no dilution is planned. the cap table is a man.
documents
- annual report 2026
- upon request
- esg statement
- upon request
- letter to shareholders (one copy, hand delivered)
- upon request
documents are read aloud upon request.
questions from the floor
how do i invest?
you cannot. the round is closed. it was never open.
when is the ipo?
the asset does not split. there will be no public offering.
is there an exit strategy?
no. he stays.
where can i see the financials?
above. that is all of them.
interest is non binding. it is also non productive.